your shadow haunts my peripheral vision,
inklings of your voice seep through
trailing words and blood vessels,
entwined barbed wire into
my tendons and veins,
and I’m ripping them bloodied
apart and away.

the knots in my stomach are
rose thorns.
you’re lead in my thoughts,
you’re heavy metal poisoning.

I still feel your gaze in
unpredictable places.
between the cracks of pavements,
at the bottom of glass bottles
and stubbed out cigarettes.

your name is a stick n poke tattoo
carved into my palms,
I can’t unclench these fists,
they crack and heave under the pressure,
of never seeing you again.

you’re no good, I was no better.

I fumigate our memories,
dissect the blurry heartbeats
and wash the slurred words
down the kitchen sink.

I want to pick pieces of you
out of my brain.
I want to pretend that I never felt a thing.